The doubt of solitary twins
When you arrive here on this website, you will probably have many doubts. This is not only normal, but even a characteristic trait: the doubt of solitary twins. So if you doubt a lot, but above all yourself, welcome to the club! Here you’ll get an insight into how this happens and how you can deal with your doubts in a helpful way. You can turn doubt into an excellent ally.
Reading time 20 minutes, a quiet time is an advantage.
Content
Our all permeating doubt of solitary twins
In discovering our twin story, we have to overcome a lot of doubt in ourselves. Doubt is such an important part of ourselves that it is worth taking a closer look at it. It goes right to the core of our being. Soon you will see how deep. Perhaps we are somehow being told that we may have a twin history with us. Whichever way we stumble across this input, we initially doubt it. This seems to be a good thing, of course. We don’t jump on a train just because it is there, right? What we are possibly missing here is that we immediately jumped on the train of doubt.
A step further, we tell us, that this whole twin thing is apparently in vogue. That makes us suspicious. We draw the conclusion that it is in vogue because we have come across this topic a few times before. I guess, it never comes to our mind, that we come across it, because we have something to do with it. Right? Then we take a closer look at the issue and realise that it seems to be well-founded. Next we suspect that we probably only believe that, but in reality it’s not like that. Then we find well and clearly described characteristics and situations of solitary twins with which we can clearly identify. Guess what?
We doubt that the fact of this realisation really counts. We probably got it all wrong. Or it doesn’t explain anything. Later, although we have come a long way in integrating our twin connection, doubt still accompanies us all the time. We are just not sure, whether we got it all wrong. Can you connect with that? Yes? If we look at it honestly, this is a fundamental and profound doubt. “We probably got it all wrong!” Is there any doubt that goes deeper than these words express? It is not just about integrating our twin connection. This runs through practically all areas of our lives. In our relationships we doubt ourselves first. In our work, we doubt our worth.
Above all, we doubt ourselves
We doubt about everything on our side of the fence. Outside of us, we have few doubts. If we do, then only briefly. We admire people who seem so sure of themselves. Internally, we immediately delete the “seem” and replace it with “are”. They are so sure! Admirable! If we happen to see a crack in this sureness, we swiftly doubt ourselves. We suspect ourselves of simply being envious. We probably got this short seen crack all wrong, we just wanted to see it. We better become more humble and take a tight look at ourselves! Right? Sounds familiar? In addition, we invite people into our lives who make us aware of our doubts. Not by telling us, but by fuelling our doubts.
When we doubt ourselves, we are vulnerable if we are not aware of the depth and mechanism of our doubt. It only takes a small comment from the outside for our train of doubt to really pick up speed. Imagine that someone wants to take advantage of this. Easy prey, as you probably see yourself. But we do not even need someone from the outside to do us in. We do us in by ourselves with our doubt. Humility is one thing, humiliation another. Our self-doubt is close to or probably the same as self humiliation. Or as said, we might invite someone in our life, who does this job for us. Clear words help us to see clearly, even if they might be shocking.
Where we got our deep doubt
Okay, now we relax. We have an honest look at our own present doubt, I hope. But how and where on earth did we pick up this all-pervading doubt? As great doubters, I take us along bit by bit to make sure we’re on safe ground. Agreed? The earlier something happens in our lives, the deeper are the layers it affects. Watch a newborn baby. It is completely content and relaxed, or completely breastfeeding, or completely hungry and crying. The whole being, including the body, expresses the same thing. It is the same. If something is going on, it affects and includes all of it. The differentiation starts after birth. We in the body in weeks, we and the outside world in months.
But, hey, this is after birth time! Now we go back even much, much further! To the time we experienced the loss of the connection to our twin. There we got our initial wound and experienced a profound deep pain. I leave the depth of this hurt to other places on this website. We follow our thread of doubt here. With this hurt, powerful forces are at play. Death, guilt, deep bonds – how do we deal with that? The “we” is not much defined yet. We are still connected to the timeless dimension, from where we arrived with our twin. And here in time, something unfathomable happened. It is just too overwhelming and near destroying us.
How do we cope? As it hits, our nearest conclusion is it has to do with us. It must be us. We fell out of heaven. We fell out of timelessness. I cannot emphasise enough how much this realisation can shake our existence. In all of this we sort of take the guilt. We must have done something wrong. We were not aware enough, we missed caring for our twin. For more to this issue read the dream of the womb. Here we continue the topic of our doubt.
How we took the doubt in
Back then when it hit us, we doubted ourselves and took blame and guilt. Doubt stems from “two“ in one of its meanings. Still that close to the timeless dimension we knew in the deepest core of our being, that everything is the way it’s meant to be. We neither could doubt that nor the timeless dimension. But our doubt needed to be somewhere. What was left then? Only ourselves. So we took the doubt in, it deeply engraved itself in us. Guilt and blame was an aftermath, connected with the doubt, and deeply engrained as well for sure.
Is the above comprehensible? To paint a simple and not entirely serious picture, imagine we and our twin dive off the cosmic diving board. And then we embed ourselves slightly below the jump, but still within sight of it. Suddenly, our twin disappears, and we are left behind and deeply hurt. Could we imagine climbing back up and going straight to the throne of the Almighty and telling him that he has just made a profoundly dumb mistake? Kicking him in the shins so to speak? Rather not, is my not so wild guess. We can’t doubt the Almighty, so we end up doubting ourselves. And in all of this, the sight of the jump point is fading. And that feeds our doubt all the more.
I paint this simple picture light-heartedly and with a smile. At the same time, however, I am also in touch with the deep pain. At this point there was nothing else left, no twin, no diving board, no connection to anywhere. Just us, being doubt and hurt. But let’s breathe a sigh of relief, those days are long gone! We have entered this wound here only to find out how deeply rooted our doubt is. And also how much we misunderstood the whole story. Our twin is simply gone. Without us having done anything or not having done anything. But we made up a story in our pain. You see? Our dream of the womb.
It was not about us, as we think
One last short side note to that here. It was not about us, as we think. It’s not that we were left alone to be miserable. It was about us, as we not think. We were gifted with a connection to timelessness which is beyond any description. Here we briefly take the point of view from our twin. Jump off the cosmic diving board. Shortly embedding on the other side, then the climb back up again. Then waiting, but not in the sense of time. Maybe drumming fingers on the celestial table? Of course not, rather witnessing our struggle in time and giving hints and offers at any possible corner. And seeing us missing them again and again.
Have we ever thought about the point of view of our timeless twin, who was ready for contact and held the connection all the time? No wonder our timeless twin wants to be seen. See Plunge into timelessness. But back to our doubt. Remember, it came into play between the Almighty and us. Doubt – in the meaning “two” – came in between, divided us and timelessness. Now we have to think sharp and clearly to get the following insight. We go back again to the time of our hurt. The not-us couldn’t be doubted, because the not-us was truth only. So we doubted the “us”. This was the only possibility for our doubt to reside. Now let’s switch to the present.
Our today’s pattern
We still have the pattern to not doubt others, but instead doubt ourselves. Are you still with me? Is it recognizable for you? We put the doubt always on our side of the fence. We’re in trouble in our close relationship? Guess what? We realise without a doubt that only we ourselves have to change, to take care, to make it work. Maybe, if we are really determined and foolhardy, we could – using all our courage – assume that our partner is also involved to some small extent. But soon after talking starts, our doubt kicks in again, and we let ourselves down. Again. Perhaps a bit overdrawn, but it sure hits home, doesn’t it?
I’ll go one better. If there is a doubt that is absolutely justified and concerns another. Guess where we put it? On our side of the fence of course! Remember the example further up, admiring people who seem so sure of themselves? And if we happen to see a crack in this sureness, we swiftly doubt ourselves? We doubt our intention, with suspecting ourselves of simply being envious. We suspect us the we probably got this short seen crack all wrong, we just wanted to see it. Cunning, isn’t it? Good old doubt is an elegant and agile dance partner. So, let’s dance!
Now that we know how we doubt, where we doubt, what our dance partner’s backstory is, things change completely. Our dance partner has led us this far. Now we take the lead. Let’s start. What if we have got it all wrong, and every single one of our perceptions and insights was genuine and rock-solid? What if we have humiliated ourselves on topics where we are at our best? Lead good old doubt to the other side of the fence. What if we have an absolutely justified doubt about a shiny façade? Do we dare to dance where this doubt belongs? On the side of the fence outside our own soil? The home of doubt: That would be a catchy film title.
Whose doubts are we dancing with?
I’ll go one better once more. Let us assume, we see good old doubt dance through the room, so to speak. I mean, we are strongly attuned to it, with our story. Do you agree? We probably involuntarily hit the dance floor in one swift movement, don’t we? But what if it is not our own dance partner? Then we find us dancing with the doubt of another. That’s handy for the other one. But not for us. Don’t laugh too quickly and say no, that’s not possible. We are sensitive tuned for doubt, mind you. With this we’re able to pick up the energy of doubt very quick. Read at some time the text of energy layer to see get how this happens in general.
We don’t need to panic that we are helplessly trapped in the energy fields of others. Nor is it mysterious. We have made it this far, and we will do much better from now on. Read on, and you’ll get all the knowledge and also the tools to overcome these kinds of obstacles. It may take some courage, but hey, growth is sometimes all about that! Firstly, do we agree that we deeply doubt ourselves because of a profound error that is at the very beginning of our life here in this world? Yes? Good, thank you. Secondly, do we agree that we have a deep bond with our timeless twin? And therefore also a close relationship with the timeless dimension?
Yes? Still with me? Thank you. Thirdly, do we agree that with a close relationship to timelessness there could also be a pretty good connection to its inherent truth? You noticed, I used “could be“ for start. I leave everything else to you, this is a direct connection between you and life. When I talk about truth here, I don’t mean “the truth”. We want to be truthful, and connect with what feels good in it. It’s not that kind of truth that says everything else is a lie. Instead, this truth says that there will always be a greater truth that fully embraces its predecessor.
A natural and lively dance
Let’s say we are in a talk with a loved one. We catch ourselves interrupting while the other is still talking. There is a good chance, that we already got the image. But we caught us interrupting. We realise with it too, it takes time for the other to express his thoughts. It takes time to do her or his own process of realising, what is at play. From our outside view, it’s easier to get an overall image. At the same time we can easily slip into the other person’s shoes. In this insight about us is truth. It makes us want to change and be a better version of ourselves. Right?
Then we consciously change the way we listen. We shut up and shift the energy into our ears and hearts. We may even tell the other to give us a verbal code, if we interrupt. Like “Too much too early“. This makes things easier for both of us, it gets clearer and more vibrant. We have a realisation about ourselves, a truth, and we evolve into a better version of ourselves that reflects that truth. No big deal, right? Life at its best. What does your own experience say? Comprehensible? In other words, we doubt ourselves enough to stay aware of greater truths. We are highly sensitive listeners, that is the smaller and preliminary truth. We can get to the greater and more comprehensive truth by being better able to hold back our immediate reaction.
An earth-heavy and stiff dance
Assume again we are in a talk with a loved one. We get interrupted by the other, and we can’t finish our line of thoughts. The verbalised interruption shows us that the other did not catch our point. Maybe we have another go, we insist on sharing our line of thoughts to the end. The subsequent response of the other is still missing the point that is important to us. Then we see in a clear state that there is a lack of connection. This is a insight, right? Truth, in other words. We are interrupted and are not heard. Now, we have a realisation about another. This changes everything when we are clear.
Say we make this insight available to the other. What happens? Most likely it is not compatible with the current truth of the other. So the current truth of the other gets challenged. The other would have to change in order to embrace it, to get a better version of herself or himself. You see, where it is going? Probably, the other will defend the own current truth, which seems to be a worldly reaction. Remember, here in this world, everyone is free to remain the same for the rest of their lives. Whatever the cost, even if it comes at the price of valuable relationships. So our dialogue partner refuses to accept our insight. That’s only logical, isn’t it?
Dance review and school
Why logical? Because if she or he could accept our insight, he or she would have listened to us in the first place. Easy to see, but hard to accept in its logic. Now, think of a solitary twin as you and me. How does it feel to express truth or insight that obviously challenges our dialogue partner? In a blink of an eye our inner dance floor is hit. Our highly strung sensitivity was involved in having this insight and now feels the impact of our words on the other side. They cause anger, doubt and confusion. Our fear of losing relationship dances like mad, we made a vow to be successful in keeping connection at any costs. Back then, when we arrived in this world.
Even before our dialogue partner shows some reactions outwardly, we are dancing with many inner perceptions and triggers. On the top of it all, our doubt hits the dance floor as well. It feels like we are daring to kick the Almighty in the shins on his throne! Remember? We just doubted our not-us! We carry such a load of heavy misconceptions, that we probably retreat immediately at this point. Or, more likely, we have long since given up expressing the truth we feel inside. In plain language, this means that we no longer make our perceptions available. We keep them for ourselves. With good reason, until now. But remember, things have changed.
Why not let our dialogue partner dance with his doubt? Replace “truth” with “information”, maybe it’s easier to handle for you. We just make the information of our perceptions available, that’s all. We just share our true view. Of course, this has a timeless power in it. So if our dialogue partner reacts strongly, it is because of this. It hits home. But we interpret this as a fault on our side. We think, what we said missed the point and because of this, the reaction is that strong. We were wrong, unfair, cheeky, incredibly know-it-all or whatever. If we get this response, said or felt, we know for sure, we just hit the button. That’s all.
How to dance with joy
Here, with our load of serious misunderstandings, we are in danger of going into reverse once again. Then doubt hits like a bomb on our side of the fence. But from now on we’re cool and keep our cool, won’t we? We just make the information of our view available. And let the first basic communication rule play, which says, that the recipient determines the content. Our view may be challenging, but hey, this is none of our business! Our challenge is to share our view! With that and our dance floor we are at the limit already. Yes or yes? It takes great courage and some experience to get the hang of it. And it’s one of the most profound changes in our lives.
Our view inwards and outwards changes completely. And we have the chance to value our inner wisdom, our own innate sense of truth. This is priceless, as you can imagine. For a start, all we need to do is pause for one breath when we become aware of the doubt. Regardless of where it seems to come from, regardless of what we doubt. One breath only. And we keep cool. It’s about info only. We tell it as it is. We listen too, of course. But it is just sharing. It is not about sorting out the one and only truth, it just is what it is. We don’t take it back and let time show. Sleep things over. With that, we get clear of the crowded dance floor.
Now, if you want to believe in walking saints, you need to be strong once again. The world is in fact very sparsely populated with direct descendants of the Almighty, or true walking saints. But we still act as if every other being is infallible. That’s a bit ridiculous, isn’t it? In fact, you’re about to find out how much truth you find within yourself. Over time, you will have more confidence and truth will become clearer and clearer. There’s no doubt about it!
Reading suggestions from here:
Want to ..
- test? See Twin test : Are you a solitary twin?
- check twin facts? See Twin matters!
- start healing? See Trust in time
- wake up? See Wake up from the dream of the womb!
- get clear? See Seize your energetical sensitivity!
- get a view beyond? See Plunge into timelessness
Image sources: With thanks to CDD20.