Twin test : Are you a solitary twin?

Then you will find more inputs and details on the questions.

You might experience relationships as a matter of life and death. Or your well-being is tightly linked to harmony in close relationships. When there are disagreements, your own ground is quickly and clearly shaken.

You explain to yourself why it’s normal to be in a complicated relationship. Or that it’s not that complicated after all. Or that every relationship is complicated. You think it’s good to be humble and work on issues with each other, no big deal. You may even think that the greater the effort, the greater the reward will be at some point.

Maybe you buy two identical pairs of shoes or clothes? You shop or cook food for yourself, but end up with two portion on a regular basis? You have more than one job, enough professional training for two or hobby equipment for a pair when being single? You work for two? Or are you somehow thinking or planning for two, even if it’s just you?

It’s like a faint odour in the air that something is missing. Or like something that is just outside your field of vision. You can’t catch a glimpse, you can’t take a whiff. Even with your intensive – usually extremely critical – self-observation, it is impossible to localise and grasp it. It’s always been like that.

You might feel alienated from the world at times. As if you are being pulled away from yourself. With a great deal of awareness, you manage to be with yourself one moment and somewhere else the next. As if you have two inner worlds and cores. This goes so far that you sometimes fear that you are no longer sane.

This kind of people will not let you remain indifferent. How can they be so sure of themselves? You might dare to doubt their confidence for a moment, but then you feel guilty and envious. You better become more humble and take a tight look at yourself.

When the black hole threatens, whatever you do, you feel powerless to fight it. Sometimes you see it coming, linked to external events, and you are paralysed. The events run like a film, inexorably towards the black abyss and downwards. What remains is a deep feeling of powerlessness.

When you come into contact with people, you may feel torn. You really want to get in touch with the other person. But you have to put up with a lot to do so, you feel. This happens in a subtle way, you can’t really understand how it happens. But you feel it, and sometimes it drives you nuts or away from people.

Perhaps you have been through many counselling sessions and therapies. Or you have undergone therapeutic training yourself. Because of your highly empathic nature, you are naturally gifted at counselling others. But despite the rich insights into your own story, the crucial realisation never came. Something is missing, and you don’t feel at peace.

You think you have a lot of flaws when it comes to relationships. But you strive to be better, of course. This is how you change yourself, you come first here. You take the other as it is, the other comes first there. Only at the end of your own options you doubt that both could be involved. It is inconceivable that only the other one has to change. That doesn’t change even if you get hurt all the time.

Whatever you achieve, this longing remains. But it drives you to search without understanding what it is. You might have several training programmes and professions in succession or even simultaneously, as well as being very active in life in general. Perhaps you work, cook, eat or shop for two. But whatever you do, you have never done enough to be at peace with yourself and the world. It’s always just round the next corner. But you never turned that corner.

Perhaps you often feel inadequate and excluded. You look at others as if from afar and realise with astonishment that you are standing outside yourself. You wonder whether you are not quite right in the head. But you prefer not to talk about this experience. That makes you even more lonely.

Does your love life show some sort of pain in it? Maybe you feel in love and guilty at the same time, with or without a reason? Perhaps your relationship has an inherent quality of non-freedom or of being at the mercy of the other. You can’t make it out quite right, but you feel, it is there.

You somehow feel trapped inside yourself and don’t even have an expression to communicate this state. Not to mention what is trapped inside you along with you. It feels like a wordless, numbing nothingness. Or a grey, mute mass, and this mass silences you. You’d rather wait for better times.

You are very empathic and cannot simply block out what you sympathise with. What is present in the room is usually closer to you than your own centre, which you then only feel dully. You find it difficult to say “no”. You put your own needs at the back of the queue.

Do you relax well and deeply in the bath or lake? Is it a fountain of life for you that noticeably refreshes and revitalises you? Or is the bath a place of discomfort? Is bathing in the lake always accompanied by an uncertainty and fear about what might be lurking there? One or the other, there is nothing in between.

Do you experience drama in your relationships? It is deeply good and then again deeply bad, but it is hardly ever simple and supportive over a longer period of time. It takes up a lot of your attention in everyday life and doesn’t provide a resting space.

Maybe you read or heard reports of near-death experiences. With doubt of course, but it’s kind of interesting. You might feel fascinated by spiritual mediumship, energy therapy or any other so-called spiritual realities. Meditation, the spiritual side of yoga, kundalini energy, none-duality. With the corresponding doubt again, of course, all the time.

It starts with the fact that you simply don’t know exactly what your needs are. Of course you have longings, but it’s difficult to put them into words. You do what’s needed, and this is not about your needs. Sometimes you might need some space for yourself, but it has to be very tight until you express that. You will only defend this on the verge of being crushed.

The topics of these questions seem so general and commonplace to you that you think everyone experiences them. The questions raised are basically on everyone’s mind, aren’t they? But you realise that you’ve hardly spoken to anyone about it. But is commonplace, you’re sure of it. When you think of talking about it, you feel uncomfortable about where and with whom.