A guide to healing the wound of solitary twins
An important clarification at the outset:
To wake up from this dream is key! As long as we dream, we are caught in an endless loop of our painful initial life story.
The following text is highly recommended for any solitary twin who wants to wake up. Even if you already know your own dream of the womb, some helpful additional pieces may come up in it. This is a therapeutic text that encourages your own inner images and nudges you inwardly. It’s best to take time and space for yourself.
Estimated reading time 15 minutes, allow some more time to let images emerge.
Content
Invaluable Key
The dream of the womb is invaluable in understanding our narrative and reconnecting with our timeless twin. We are not aware of our narrative of our own story how we arrived in this world. But this narrative influences us in a profound way in important aspects in our life, as you soon will realise. Sit down, make yourself comfortable and listen with all your heart and senses.
Go back and connect with there and then
Go back before your birth. See and feel yourself coming from the timeless dimension connecting with space and time. Welcome in time: many months before your birth. Welcome in space: floating in and out, but eventually bonded with your body-to-be. And at all times, this other deeply familiar being is near you. Eventually, when you are bonded with your body-to-be, the connection to timelessness fades maybe out to some degree. But the connection to your twin is becoming more significant. You two are together in this, and you’ve never ever been alone. You two have been bonded since the beginning of time! Which is literally true in this case.
Then something completely unfathomable and incomprehensible happens. Your twin disappears. You are alone.
The last scent of timelessness has gone with it. Along with it, everything familiar and every connection. You have never been alone. But now you have been abandoned.
You are alone.
If you can, pause here, feel rather than think, allow and give yourself time. Let things rest and grow within you.
What felt image emerges in any sense?
What happened there? What is your dream? What is your narrative, in other words?
It will take weeks or months for you to piece together your own image or story of what happened for you, there. Perhaps even years later, other parts will turn up that contribute helpful details to your dream work. Piece after piece will emerge. Simultaneously, in the first weeks and maybe months you will probably reconnect with the hurt, pain and grief from there. Please note that any grief that arises within you is a profound healing process (See The healing process of the twin connection for deeper view). Pieces that turn up later rather contribute details, along with a sense of touching clarity.
We cannot know – theoretically speaking
Of course, we can’t really know in the sense that we normally refer to knowing. But have a look at it the following view. This abandonment often occurs in the first three months of pregnancy and goes unnoticed. See Worth knowing about solitary and timeless twins. Physically speaking, our nervous system has only just begun to develop. The brain cells to remember anything consciously were not even present then. But our present brain cells of today will help for sure, in form of our present consciousness. Of great help is our body, and with it our feelings. The body was already there, it remembers and tells us, through bodily sensations and feelings.
We can figure out
If a piece of truth emerges, we will sense and feel it. It takes all that we are to get it together, our mind, our body and our heart. This hurt is deeply ingrained in our entire being, and it influences important aspects of our being without us being aware of it. It steers us, and the vital parts of our being are affected. But this is also our chance, because every vital part of our being can give us clues as to what has happened. All we have to do, is to broaden our view and listening. Dreaming, being still, realising spontaneous thoughts while we queue at the checkout. Connect body, heart and mind and ask them.
The ace up your sleeve
We’d better not underestimate the presence our twin! Our timeless twin wants to be seen. Our dream of the womb wants to be freed from its dull life. The connection exists and does its thing. Regardless of whether we believe it or are aware of it. If we are open to this possibility, we are likely to find funny or touching clues in our daily lives and quests. Even if we rule out this possibility, the clues are there but likely to be more subtle. It’s like a game of hide-and-seek. In this game we can try to hide of course and give it our best shot. Then our most sensible thing we can do is to enjoy the game of being discovered.
The key in the dream of the womb
As long as we do not have sufficient insight into our dream, we are very likely to endlessly repeat this dream in our lives. In a dreamy state we act out this hurt in our lives again and again and again. But when we begin to recognise this dream, we have the chance to wake up. What we then begin to recognise could make it difficult not to look away. But we don’t have to do this all alone. This “to be and to do all alone” is part of our dream and the past. Our timeless twin is here for help and support. To connect with other solitary twins is deeply helpful too.
One of many starting points
Common characteristics of solitary twins is one good starting point for finding pieces of our dream. There is a kind of commonality in the characteristics of solitary twins. Sometimes it is just a felt of similarity. At other times we hit a bull’s eye, a clear insight into one of our own character traits. It can be touching to be recognised by descriptive words. We best stick with the words and description that touch us. These set something in motion, and it is likely that we may catch a glimpse of one of our patterns in life. Having insights of these patterns can lead to the emerging of another piece of our dream.
From traits to pieces of the dream
And with this we may begin to develop an inner radar for the underlying source with the help of our body, heart and mind. It is kind of a signature we own or that owns us. It pops out through these patterns, not quite clear at first, but almost tangible. The more we encounter traits of solitary twins that we resonate with, the clearer the patterns become and the more we grasp our signature and with it our dream. This consciousness at work at its finest!
Another starting point with questions.
There are many loose ends that lead to getting pieces of the dream. Following the threads from different ends is a valuable way. We can go back to the time when we were arriving in time and space. And then we test some of the answers that come up. They don’t have to fit straight away! It’s best to try them out for a few days and see how it feels. No rush. Our brain cells might complain about having to figure out a story that happened before they existed. But they will eventually manage with all the resources of body, heart and a mind of different sort.
Hints for questions:
- What gender was your timeless twin? Just be spontaneous and give it a go. You will have a feeling. Trust it. When you look at your relationship life, it gives you tons of hints. Take them. And then stick with it for the next days.
- As soon as you feel ready for it, ask for or think of a name. Be open for it. Read it in the newspaper, dream it, whatever suits for you. It will find you, come naturally and fit. Otherwise, it will change soon after you have addressed your timeless twin with that name. Names are bridges to beings, whether they are solitary or timeless. It is handy for our side of the connection because we use language and thought. It helps us to focus. Enjoy this happening. If the name is not important to you, trust yourself too. It may come another time or never. To find a way to focus and address your timeless twin is important, that’s the key here.
I never had a name for my timeless twin.
Whenever I come into contact with him, he’s just there. He is unmistakably him. That was the case from the very beginning when I discovered our separation story, which happened very early on in my life. I simply don’t need a name, and neither does he. We are close when I address him directly in his essence. For me, this works perfectly without a spoken or thought name.
Yvonne, Lucerne, Switzerland
The name of my timeless twin changed right at the beginning.
In a profound therapy session, I discovered that I had a twin sister. On the way home, I just started talking to her inside me. Immediately I realised that she never had a name. And I strongly felt the longing to address her by a name. Of course it was a help for me, she didn’t need it. So I made up a name for her and felt a bit ridiculous and doubtful. But it also helped me a lot! The following evening and night were a bath of grief, relief and a beginning of understanding. Another name came in the morning, it just appeared naturally. And this name just felt good, clear and right. And without doubt. When I looked up the meaning of the name, I was amazed and had to laugh. It still touches me now. And this name has been deeply valid ever since.
Albert, Zug, Switzerland
- How many of you were at the start line? Probably only a few of us are solitary triplets. But few is a dangerous word, in both directions. Nothing is certain, doubt is a good way to be open to all sides and find a starting point. When you find a piece of your picture that fits, put doubt aside. Doubt the next subject.
- When did your timeless twin disappear? Perhaps you are one of the very rare twins who seem to know exactly when this happened because you were told. I say “seem“ because even here doubt may be a good thing too. If you find yourself here reading about your twin story, still searching, maybe you were triplets at the starting line? The rest of us will figure out in the way I described above. It is not about an exact date, it is about a feeling at what point in our experienced timeline it was. And it can contribute to getting a piece of the dream.
- What was the feeling of the important scene? Any and which colours? Where between light and dark? Was there a movement, a gesture, from your timeless twin, from you? Do you feel some non-verbal communication but with degree clarity in it?
A balloon that loses air and collapses.
My image of the dream of the womb is a large balloon in my neighbourhood that simply collapses. I am doing everything I can to restore it to its original size, and that needs my full and relentless attention. As soon as I slacken it slumps and deflates. With this feeling, I see my relationships in a completely different light. I lived my relationships caring about abundance and plenty without noticing where or how abundance flowed into an ever-open drain. I experienced this image or dream again and again and couldn’t help but repeat it. This view changed my life. Now I can live relationships that hold that fullness, they hold it even when I don’t take care of their full space all the time. Life can be so simple and easy, I have found!
Verena, Zurich, Switzerland
Touch the other side, no reaction and no understanding.
It took me some time to put this picture together. But it moved me deeply and solved and explained a lot in my life. Everything, actually. I saw myself touching the empty hull of my twin sister’s little body. Nudging her gently, waiting and not being able or willing to understand. Hoping that she will move again. At some point she will move again, won’t she? Just trying nudging again and again. I’ve been through this a lot in my life. I never got what’s wrong with me. In all my intimate relationships, it was not possible to get in touch with my partner, either because she left or because she was physically present but intangibale at the same time. I’ve always waited a long time and endured more than makes sense. It was hard to wake up, but it was worth every step. My life has completely changed for the better. This image of my dream of the womb has helped me fundamentally to understand all of this. Today I live happily in a real partner relationship, and I am happy about it every day without exaggerating.
Brian, Dorchester, Great Britain
These questions may help us to come in a state of descriptive sense. This can enable us to fill in some missing gaps between the dots. Anything that helps evoke a faint image or memory will fit the bill. Discover and use your own way of doing this, if some or all of the above suggestions do not apply to you.
Where it leads to
Recognising our dream of the womb means waking up bit by bit. It delivers an answer to our patterns in life.
It could be, for example, that the way we deal with our loneliness is anything but helpful. On the contrary, it reliably creates our loneliness itself. Remember? In a dreamy state we act out this hurt in our lives again and again. Another example? Perhaps we recognise that we are entering into a relationship with others in a way just reliving the dream, again and again. We maybe “lose our partners or friends”. We maybe “can’t really connect with our partners or friends”. We maybe “do what we can, but the other went away or is still not reachable“. Any bells ringing?
With insight in our dream of the womb we get kind of a detailed picture that is unique for us. It will give insight into our life, where to look and how to look. When we transfer this into our present life and integrate it into our view, actions and decisions, we heal ourselves and our twin connection.
An available trump card on the table?
It is sometimes easier to find pieces of this dream in the presence of another. If you know another solitary twin that you trust, reach out and ask. The other would have the role of a witness. Yet the label of a solitary twin alone does not the trick. But the chance of being heard and recognised increases dramatically. Mind you, there are also solitary twins who only know “theoretically” and have never come close to their wound. We better leave them alone. Any book does much better in our quest. Ultimately, we learn to trust our impulses. But funny enough, I have seen time and again that life itself arranges best-fit contacts with other solitary twins during waking up.
I would advise against talking about it with others, apart from solitary twins. Even professional therapists or highly emphatic people can’t relate to the depth of this hurt and how profound it is. They can “theoretically know”, but they can’t connect to it. And in this stage we are in need of someone who has the potential and the ability to connect to it. In short, someone who has the same wound and who literally knows it by his whole being. I am aware that this is an unnerving statement. But I have never seen or experienced an exception. And I have witnessed solitary twins at waking up struggle with the “helpful” inputs of various sides and sorts.
We should be aware that we have included those close to us in our dream of the womb and that we may still be re-enacting our dream. If I were near you at your waking up, I would probably feel threaten by your emerging change. I would rather stick to the old and familiar way of relating to you. Perhaps I would openly or unconsciously ensure that your dream continues to work. Because it works well for me and if I prosper in it, why let a change happen? So please take mindful and friendly care of yourself. Be your own best companion in this.
Connecting with solitary twins
This website is also about connecting solitary twins with each other. Perhaps you will find a helpful connection on these pages. As I write this here, I don’t know myself where it will lead. I am curious myself. I and other readers are grateful for contributions and additional tips on this guide to the dream of the womb. Please get in touch if you would like to contribute or be part of the connection.
Reading suggestions from here:
Want to ..
- test? See Twin test : Are you a solitary twin?
- check twin facts? See Twin matters!
- start healing? See Trust in time
- grip your doubts? See Harness your doubt!
- get clear? See Seize your energetical sensitivity!
- get a view beyond? See Plunge into timelessness
Image sources: With thanks to CDD20.